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if . . .

What you alter in the remembering has yet a reality, known or not. - Cormac McCarthy

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January 27, 2004

now

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Heart Play

June 24, 2002

My thoughts are wounds in my head. My brain is a scar. I want to be a machine. Arms to drag legs to walk no pain no thinking. (Heiner Müller , 'Hamletmachine' ) Heartplay A May I lay my heart at your feet. B If you don't make a mess on my floor.. A My heart is clean.. B We'll see, won't we.. A I can't get it out.. B Would you like me to help you.. A If you wouldn't mind.. B It'll be a pleasure. I can't get it out either.. A cries. B I will remove it surgically. What have I got this penknife for anyway. We'll have this sorted out in no time. work will keep you from despair. Right, there we are. But this is a brick. Your heart is a red brick.. A Yes, but it beats only for you.. (1981) A beats B to death with the brick.. (Addition, July 1991). ------------- Heiner Müller ----------------- from Heiner Müller Theatremachine translated and edited by Marc von Henning

car torched

April 25, 2005

. . . yesterday while visiting my mother for Sunday supper . . . my car parked at the rear of the house was torched . . . witnesses identified a five year old playing around the vehicle followed by three sharp explosions and high flames . . . the fire department responded in less than a minute thanks to a neighbour's 911 call . . . the gas meter directly behind the car melted and had to be replaced . . . the house was slightly singed . . . inside the smell of smoke hung around the night but all is well now . . . i was fixing the car up as a graduation gift for my son so the vehicle was unlicensed . . . no insurance but sure makes a dramatic picture & story . . . how 'bout this story (all factually true) - vehicle parked behind former Islamic Temple torched while recently arrived Korean guest out visiting campus . . .

Churchill

May 07, 2025

yes, winter has waned, but there has been no shortage of activity re: the Aurora Borealis lately - and this has me thinking about the time the US and Canadian militaries were shooting rockets into the Northern Lights just to see what would happen lol. This all went down in Churchill, Manitoba. For those keeping track, this is a fairly northern, somewhat remote community lol - a full 1000 km northeast of Winnipeg on the Hudson Bay. ... this IG look here post by the government of Canada, shared with me by my son, verified my toddler memories of being lifted up by my father and flicking a switch to fire a rocket into the Aurora Borealis ... there are pictures that look like the old wooden tower where i have memories of Dad bundling me up and atop the tower watched him take photos of the night sky ... he told me stories about the rocket info payloads landing sometimes as far south as the USA midwest ... the snow, polar bears & boulders of Hudson Bay shaped a dream-like cheri...