juxtapositions
... received notice there was a tenant in the bushes next to my studio/living residence ... am in the process of relocating ... the structure and surrounding area are vacant ... the prairie gothic building was actually a place of worship in previous incarnations thus i refer to my place as The Temple ... there exists a tiny insignificant plot at the back dominated by white and purple flowering lilac bushes open to the alley ...
... on the edge of downtown ... located a stones throw away from the original train station turned into small mall ... surrounded mostly by apartments and housing "progressing" towards gentrification i allowed this tiny unkempt bush area to be a respite from concrete ... oh yes there is a lawn ... not exactly manicured turf grass but a collection of quack grass and the likes i watch over treasuring the dandelions, ants, ladybugs and multitudes of robins, magpies, ravens, crows and others ... close to the basement windows are thankfully a mix of tallgrass prairie ... & finally the entire territory is sheltered by seven magnificent elm trees ...
... still this tiny piece of shrubbery, at least in my mind, is uncultivated ... oh cannot forget the monstrous caragana bush at the front, a legume native to Siberia and Mongolia, introduced to the Canadian prairies to prevent snow drifting ... i love this "invasive species" too ... even more so as it totally fails the snow drifting task it was meant to accomplish ... still the back "throwaway landscape" holds a portion of my heart ... a sort of rewilding of the heart ...
... through the years received pressure from apartment property owners to remove the bushes ... these owners actually maintained their businesses from afar ... it was an unsightly dangerous spot for them ... there concerns were ignored ...
... in the summer occasionally the homeless would take shelter ... they carved out a hidden place sleeping a night or two then move on ... between times the apartment kids would build forts and sculptures with collected twigs and found items ... when things became unruly i would step in & clean up a little ... my feelings juxtaposed between nuisance and caring ...
... the spot was a place for dissolving the stranglehold of ego for me ... a way to honour the gift of small things ... of memory keeping ... challenging the relentless extinction of experiences ...
... probably will be left with no further option but to demolish The Temple ... before i left invited a dear friend over ... we talked then he offered a smudge ... we let the smoke fill the largest inside room i simply refer to as the space ... then he handed me the smudging bowl and with my partner we went to the door smudging the portal & slowly made our way circling The Temple ...
... time moved backwards ... the sky passed into twilight ... age, tarnished dreams frayed and beautiful faded into the night ... it seemed like an infinite peaceful trek returning to square one ... moving, settling, seeking were in the wooden frame ... not nostalgia and not not nostalgia ... breathed deeply ... a closure ... into opensure to connect to a distant place of concern across landscapes into hopes of a safe harbour ...
... from a place of not knowing ... circle one ... The Temple demolished tapping my temple?
::Note:: ... am indebted for inspiration and phrases to The Way of Coyote: shared Journeys in the Urban Wilds by Gavin Van Horn ... have been reading this book the past days and the reading has shaped much of this written reflection.
