if . . .

Theresa Spiess (Montalbetti) April 24,1958 - December 21, 2005 Theresa sister lost currents run deep and quiet a bond ardent beneath the pulse of life voicing hope and strength your last words possessed a fierce caring "saw the perfect gift for you" you spoke soft, full tones betrayed all the suffering that tore at my gut till when parting tears clenched my breath echoing a merciless hollow cry salt water flowed between us now silence flying to the place you called home clouds below stars above twilight Is this what you gentle souls see departing? hope rests resigned as if in transit knowing redemption will come i have no gifts and carry a vast void an emptiness that embraces the living memories soothe little for the struggle whispers beauty is to be present where presence is tangibly lost dearest Theresa blood sister ascend, descend, ascend a thin rose line caresses the horizon between the sky and heaven like a lock of your most delicate and fine red hair the thin rose line ...

green green green under a green banana tree angels come & go guardian flashing lights flicker past into present beyond to dream the green dance dance dance the steam off the water the frost off the branches dazzling currents of care prototypes for new understandings to the brown around the center of the eye

"Chinese poems are like strings of jewels." "The jewels are Chinese characters, each of which represents a one-syllable word." "These little word-jewels are hard and unchanging, but when they are translated into English, each one seems to have several different meanings." ". . ." "The heart of the jewel never changes but its surface reflects the light in many different ways." (Greg Whincup. The Heart of Chinese Poetry) :: note :: . . . reading the poems of Li Bai . . . Quiet Night Thoughts & many more . . . the above was written about Question and Answer on the Mountain . . . the link has not the word-jewel translation that Whincup creates . . . some poems are jewels . . . some days are jewels . . .

(from '05 class) . . . For me, I was kind of confused as to what I was supposed to be doing. I tried working with my text, but I didn't really understand where I was supposed to take it, what I was supposed to do. It seemed that working with full power, really high was working for me. But still, I was confused. I decided to stay after class for the extra session. And I am so thankful that I did!!! . . . It was great to work in a smaller group, to be able to see more people's work and how the emotions, and sounds, and actions tell the story. Raymon asked me near the end if I wanted to go. And as I was still sort of confused, I said, "I'd try". So I started with a vibrating tone, although, I didn't go as high as I could. I started saying my text and working my way up, louder and with more power. I tried to fight against my obstacle and gain power from that. . . . Raymon pulled on my shoulder and pushed on my back and I fought against him. My voice went loude...

"What is more valuable than gold? Light. " "What is more precious than light? Conversation" - J.W. von Goethe Emerging Out of Goethe : [PDF] Conversation as a Form of Social Inquiry Allan Kaplan (via wood s lot ) :: note :: . . . pdf files (present personal technology) does not allow easy cut&paste quotes . . . Kaplan moves Goethe principles into new realms exploding conversation . . . suffice to say the ideas are a feast . . . & Mark thanks for feasting the eye with Klee and Kandinsky . . .

"The idea of improvisation means that we confront ourselves with our own individual creativity." (EDN | Improvisation: Keith Jarrett - The Köln Concert ) :: note :: . . . street theater, teaching & listening to coltrane taught me about the above principle of improvisation: retrieving the mystery . . . spent the day reflecting, through reading exams & journals, a tightly structured & at the same time a purposeful improvised class journey . . . the thread between discipline&spontaneity . . .

forgiveness     give for     grieve for     live for     give yourself &           me forgive

"Some people walk away from creative endeavours when they're feeling emotional, or by taking a break and getting some distance. Others use their art to process challenging emotional experiences; pouring their heart out into their work or using it as a cathartic experience." "..."Many of the artists described highly creative times when they are responding to strong emotions and want to express them through their art [~] transduce them from one form of energy to another." "...When we feel, we begin to be alive. When we express a feeling, we share with the rest of the world that we are alive. When we express a feeling through music, we invite the rest of the world to share in our experience of the feeling, and to be alive with us." "...Sometimes I hear people say that they'll get to their creative project, their creative dream, as soon as things "calm down" in their life. And yet it's the creative process itself that's u...

"Beauty, it seems, is immutable, at least when incarnated - fixed - in the form of art, because it is in art that beauty as an idea, an eternal idea, is best embodied. Beauty (should you choose to use the word that way) is deep, not superficial; hidden, sometimes, rather than obvious; consoling, not troubling; indestructible, as in art, rather than ephemeral, as in nature. Beauty, the stipulatively uplifting kind, perdures." (Susan Sontag | An argument about beauty ) "The death of Susan Sontag, in 2004, served to point out just how much things had changed . . . She spray-painted on the walls of the academy the incendiary line, 'In place of a hermeneutics we need an erotics of art.'" (The Chronicle of Higher Education| Literary Aesthetics: the Very Idea ) :: note :: . . . last december reading of her death felt a sense of loss . . . spent decades perusing the thoughts, ideas, politics, essays & actions . . . always an activist & forever an artist ...

"Enigmatic form is living form; like life, an iridescence, an invitation to the dance, a temptation, or irritation. No satisfying solutions, nothing to rest in; nothing to way us down." "Meaning is in the play, or interplay, of light. As in schizophrenia, all things lose their boundaries, become iridescent with many-coloured significances. No thing, but an iridescence, a rainbow effect. An indirect reflection; or refraction; broken light, or enigma." "Meaning is not in things but in between; in the iridescence, the interplay; in the interconnections; at the intersections, at the crossroads. Meaning is transitional as it is transitory; in the puns or bridges, the correspondence." (Norman O. Brown. Love's Body . Chapter: Freedom, 245-46) :: note :: . . . do you know how to live with love . . . to give life & love meaning . . . provoke and not hurt or cause pain . . . the rainbow is broken light . . . does the light break willingly into the irides...

shu ha ri The three phases to mastership: To learn by rote combined with spontaneity, to come to an understanding of the problems by constant practice and relinquishment of spontaneity, and masterly treatment of the problems and spontaneity on a higher level. :: note :: . . . life weaves breathlessness these days . . . thrown into blood streams that swirl dizzyingly . . . trembling the spirits play . . . caught of guard nipping at the edge . . . a circle bead caresses the mouth . . . swallow the world . . .

November 1: Rehearsal starts. I have used pictures from The Dream of the Audience as starting points. November 17 - 18: Shopping for fabric. November 22: Making costume and props: white dress, white ribbon, red and black ribbons and white screen. December 9: Reenactment A Ble Wail Room 636 at 9pm Tisch School of the Arts, NYU. I have been wondering about the title A Ble Wail. Dictionary defines: -ble from Latin a suffix meaning result of the act of, means of, place for. A Ble Wail can be comprehended as result of the act of wail, means of wail and place for wail. Also A Ble can be read as Able, and Able means a suffix that forms adjectives meaning to have enough power, skill, or means to do something. So, A Ble Wail can be interpreted as to have enough power, skill and means to wail. What was Cha wailing for? I went to the undergraduate costume department in order to ask to use one of their sewing machines for my project and they were kind enough to lend me one. While I was making the...

Dear all, I invite you to my reenactment of Theresa Cha's A Ble W ail . December 9th, Friday at 9pm. Tisch School of the Arts, 6th Fl. Room 636, New York. :: note :: ... :: note :: . . . am humbled by your following the destiny laid before you . . . congratulations with all the joy and love you deserve . . . the trials and tribulations seem so worth it . . . still much work as we breathe into Cha . . . take care & feel the support . . . & many thanks ben for the documentation . . .

"2. Intuitive Intelligence. Intuitive intelligence is the ability to learn complex skills and solve problems on a subconscious basis; for example, a child learning to speak without learning the rules of grammar. The rules of grammar actually were learned, but the child cannot tell you want they are. This type of intelligence is particularly powerful at picking up patterns in a seemingly chaotic situation. When the right answer to a complex problem pops into your head but you can't figure out how you came up with it, it's probably the product of your intuition. Important: Intuitive intelligence is better at solving certain types of complex problem than our conscience, sensory intelligence." (Born to Explore! The Other Side of ADD | The Intuitive Brain ) (originally found at mousemusings Complexity and Intuitive Thought ) :: note :: . . . the practice: it is important to actually place yourself in situations which demand intuitive responses . . . to stand face to face...

a cup of coffee a gaze divine so many thoughts & words entwined kneeling rest the rhythm of the heart for yours is thine to shine imagine

"Immensity is within ouselves. It is attached to a sort of expansion of being that life curbs and caution arrests but which starts again when we are alone. As soon as we become motionless we are elsewhere; we are dreaming in a world that is immense. Indeed, immensity is the movement of motionless man. It is one of the dynamic characteristics of quiet daydreaming." ( Gaston Bachelard . The Poetics of Space . p184) :: note :: . . . when dreaming with the Other the motionless makes motion . . . a playful, prayful dance of intimate immensity . . . the Other side of dream . . . active tranquil dimensions evolving into vast perspectives . . . correspondances as trans actions . . . Bachelard writes: ". . . two spirits that are identically sensitive can sensitize the center and horizon in different ways. In this connection a sort of plains test could be used that would bring out different types of reactions to infinity." . . . yes we may hold Blake's " Infinity...

"there are several things you can do to design conversations that matter: 1. Be present. 2. Work with real questions. 3. Invite the edge. 4. Pause, reflect, discern. 5. Harvest deeper learnings." ( Conversation changes the world | Parking Lot) :: note :: . . . saw this in action the other day . . . yet chris articulates the steps in a brilliant manner . . . in fact Parking Lot is a dazzling gem which when held in the gaze opens the poetics and practice space . . .

"Last week saw the end of the mystical autumn drama, The Little Mermaid . It began six weeks previous with a small group of high school students and an exuberant young teacher with a simple script. No one imagined what complex and amazing results would come." "Somewhere between the early line runs and the final bow, the spirit of drama touched our lives. In such a short time, this cast grew to a point that I have never seen before. It was a blossoming of talent, energy and passion that I will never forget." "I have never seen a cast grow so much in my four years of acting. I saw once silent, serene individuals break through with new voice that shattered the stage and enveloped the auditorium. I saw characters come alive within the actor, as young women's faces filled with tears on that stage. I saw some, who once stayed hidden beyond the lights, break forth into the bright beams. I saw my fellow actors flourish in a way that I have never seen. Everyone rea...

response fragments to dance performance . . . intimate immensity / concentration of the wanderer / wisdom of the "old ways" & practises being passed through very specific modes of movement - voicing / correspondance of lyrical spirits / intensity of evolving / transforming intensity into being / the exaltation of space beyond frontiers . . . shall articulate towards a statement . . .

trust falling into trust feathers lifting into dancing shells of heartfelt thanks words of honour & sandalwood scent bathes the day . . . sometimes when you just give others space traces of beauty follow you to eternity . . .

this classic Hans Christian Anderson tale came as a gift . . . an unexpected gift bringing so much love . . . i remember being closed hearted . . . we stop respecting ourselves when we lose the heart to give & breathe to the other . . . a wise writer spoke that life has nothing more important to demand than the simplest of all stories - one person looking for another . . . each day the eyes of the other are written in the space of the soul . . . all the names of all those who dare to tread on the place of imagination are lifted into the tears that fall creating an ocean . . . touch the salt water . . . thank you for the journey . . . :: note :: . . . it inevitably happened . . . a student just in passing . . . "oh I found your blog" . . . so if more of you come . . . hello . . . go see Little Mermaid . . .

"1. Being Open-Hearted" "2. Telling Visionary Stories " "3. Offering (and Holding) Space" "4. Grounding" ". . . this is the fundamental structure of the workshop." (Parking Lot | Refining the four Open Space Practices ) :: note :: . . . if asked to describe my teaching ethic could not provide a better statement . . .

"Glowlab, a Brooklyn-based psychogeography network presents Open Lab at Art Interactive. During this festival and exhibition curated by Christina Ray, more than twenty artists will research the effects of the urban environment on emotion and behavior by leading a series of public events." (>>> context weblog sampling new cultural context | how does your city affect you? ) :: note :: . . . my city flows along the river & when connected to the water as it opens to the sky a vibrant & beautiful place stirs the heart . . . the trees are majestic & seek to clothe the buildings reminding us of the cycle of the seasons . . . & the snow . . . the power of white to change all in an hour . . .my city lets me breathe fully and allows a path beyond to the praire . . .

. . . students presented a workshop at the peace conference . . . created a performance working with the themes of peace, oppression and rights . . .

"The Penelopiad: The Myth of Penelope and Odysseus by Atwood is a retelling of Homer's story from Penelope's point of view. Atwood told Reuters she almost pulled out of the project after she failed in several attempts to write about different myths." "Homer portrays Penelope as the faithful wife who holds the country together and raises a son while Odysseus is off fighting his wars. When Odysseus returns, he kills Penelope's suitors and her maids." "Atwood said she was haunted by the tale of the 12 hanged maids and her book reveals what Penelope was really up to. "The story as told in The Odyssey doesn't hold water," she said. "There are too many inconsistencies."" ... "'I grew up thinking that history is the stuff that makes newspaper headlines and gets analyzed by journalists, while myth was something that primitive people swapped around the campfire. The distinction seemed quite simple," said author Mic...

Byung-Hun Min . . . artistic statement . . . Nature in Korea is rather small, delicate and sensitive to me. I come closer to it much more easily. And I try to see it with a serene state of view. :: note :: . . . found at wood s lot what has become the most important site on the web . . . a place to return to again and again . . . changes with the consciousness of the days and the cycle of the seasons . . . many recognized as another year passed a short while ago . . . decided to wait . . . glad i did . . . the above statement speaks to how to approach such places on the web . . .

. . . Scorched Ice by Mansel Robinson receives a studied perfomance by Last Exit Theater . . . . . . the words are carefully crafted . . . the back & forth scenic structure drives the action past the target of the harrowing threat of nuclear holocaust during the Cuban Missile Crisis to a coming of age story . . . the voice of the play is strong and sure . . . rich & resonant in metaphor the sparse action is deliberate & evocative . . . the characters constantly tremble trapped or fleeing a harsh, inexplicable existence . . . the naive childish backdrop used to project the plodding of the nameless and phantasmagorical refugees or the universal night sky gives a luminous depth to the narrative . . . Yet . . . during my early training a wise man of the theater instructed: "cut the spoken which doesn't advance the action . . . let the actions speak" . . . a playwright needs to trust action . . . a director courage to keep the words on the page to release the...

"The Image That Speaks Volumes * Evokes * Provokes * Kindles * Awakens * Suggests * Stirs * Invokes * Agitates * Educates " (fno.org | Wondering with and about Images by Jamie McKenzie )

:: note :: . . . nephew was in town . . . asked to be driven to "the wall" . . . grafitti artists had met and worked on this wall . . .

"A modern and ironic look at Commedia dell'Arte. Impressions from a comic and poetic world full of meetings and clashes that reveal themselves through dances and extraordinary loves." (Teatrino Giullare | Serenades ) :: note :: . . . attended a splendid performance . . . beyond words . . . beyond thoughts . . . " Beyond the barriers " pushed deep into the heart and gut to stir laughter and awe . . . from clowns of the absurd through poetic gestural language back to the tradition of commedia dell' arte the scenes danced, sometimes wildly and other times gently, around the place where theater eludes precise meaning and moves beyond to the mystery of the rhythm and irony of life . . . . . . a brilliant bricolage where each group performed intimations of meaning about vulnerability & finitude and futility & fragility . . . archaically physical all the works were propelled by actors exploring an explosive dynamic . . . and there resides the power of ...

"The first difficulty that we face in order to understand correctly the workings of tragedy according to Aristotle stems from the very definition which that philosopher gives of art. What is art, any art? For him , it is an imitation of nature. For us, the word "imitate" means to make a more or less perfect copy of an original model. Art would, then, be a copy of nature. And "nature" mens the whole of created things. Art would, therefore, be a copy of created things." "But this has nothing to do with Aristotle. For him, to imitate (mimesis) has nothing to do with copying an exterior model. "Mimesis" means rather a "re-creation." And nature is not the whole of created things but rather the creative principle itself. Thus when Aristotle says that art imitates nature, we must understand that this statement, which can be found in any modern version of the Poetics , is due to a bad translation, which in tern stems from an isolated int...

. . . leaves piling and running down the street . . . one of my favourite times . . .

"A New York Philharmonic trumpeter who taught both Wynton Marsalis and Miles Davis died this week. William Vacchiano, who never missed a performance during his 38 years with the New York Philharmonic, was 93. Vacchiano became the philharmonic's principal trumpet player in 1942, seven years after joining. Philharmonic spokesman Eric Latzky called Vachhiano "one of the great trumpet teachers of the 20th century." His teaching career at Julliard spanned nearly seven decades. " (cbc.ca| Teacher of Wynton Marsalis and Miles Davis dies ) :: note :: . . . to all the great teachers of the great . . . more recognition and honor . . . thanks . . .

". . . the first-ever collection of Hiroshi Sugimoto's 'Theater' photographs. To create each image, Sugimoto would take a long-exposure photograph of a cinema screen for the entire duration of a movie, resulting in a blank white screen. 'Different movies give different brightnesses,' he said. 'If it's an optimistic story, I usually end up with a bright screen; if it's a sad story, it's a dark screen. Occult movie? Very dark.' The project was partly the result of wanting to make a simple form visible: 'The simplest forms have authority, like a blank white light. And how do you photograph that? You need a framework to make it visible. But this is not simply white light; it is the result of too much information.'" (eyestorm.com | Hiroshi Sugimoto Theaters, 2000 )

"Within the new movement gained through elasticity and plasticity the actor must be a good friend of gravity and know how to play with it. The action in rhythm is to know how to express the inner emotion and psyche externally. Not a reproducing stereotypical gestures but a rigorous study about impulse, gesture and activity in order to transform those into physical actions. An actor's action in rhythm vibrates in the space musically which is in dancing-ness. It is a search for a spatial movement. " (unpublished actors manifesto) :: note :: . . . more to follow . . .

:: note :: . . . received this e-card from a MoMA exhibit . . . SAFE: Design Takes On Risk | October 16, 2005[^]January 2, 2006 . . . always thought of chains as oppression . . . not as security nor safety . . . hmmm . . .

"'Teachers and students negotiate what counts as knowledge in the classroom, who can have knowledge, and how knowledge can be generated, challenged and evaluated' (p.45). We believe that the context for this negotiation, this social construction of meaning, is always one of power. The teacher and students-teachers inhabit roles that allow them to wield far greater power than their students in the classroom. However, they are also constrained by mandates handed down by the school principal, the school district, and the state. When they step outside of prescribed roles, teachers may be censured by their respective institutions and/or parents. They may be both oppressors and oppressed at the same time (Freire, 1993)." (Teacher Education Quarterly| Behind the Mask and beneath the Story: Enabling Students-Teachers1 To Reflect Critically on the Socially-Constructed Nature of Their "Normal" Practice ) :: note :: . . . masks and power . . .

"First, a disclaimer: the following is a work of non-fiction. As such, it is unlikely to be as vivid, or textured, or as faithful to the author's deepest convictions and emotions as his own fiction, as linguistically adventurous or as revealing about the way it feels to live now as the latest novels by Salman Rushdie or Zadie Smith. I write novels. In fact, I just finished one, which is one reason I was alarmed to hear VS Naipaul declaring recently, in an interview with the New York Times, that the novel was dead. Which would make me, I guess, a necrophiliac. Naipaul essentially argues - stop me if you've heard this one before - that non-fiction is better suited than fiction to dealing with the big issues and capturing the way we live now. " (Guardian | The uses of invention ) :: note :: . . . writing short fiction this summer discovered the same result . . .

"Go get slaughtered and we promise you a long and pleasant life." (ctheory.net | The Rhetorics of Life and Multitude in Michel Foucault and Paolo Virno )

"Constitutions do not create our rights; they recognize and codify the ones we already have, and provide means for their protection. We already possess our rights in two senses: either because our ancestors secured them or because they are inherent in the very idea of being human." ( Michael Ignatieff. The Rights Revolution . 28) :: note :: . . . wondering about the rights revolution . . . the individual and the group . . .

"Ariltotle declares the independence of poetry (lyric, epic, and dramatic) in relation to politics. What I propose to do in this work is to show that, in spite of that, Aristotle constructs the first, extremely powerful poetic-political system for intimidation of the spectator, for elimination of the "bad" or illegal tendencies of the audience. This system is, to this day, fully utilized not only in conventional theater, but in the TV soap operas and in Western films as well: movies, theater, and television united, through a common basis in Aristotelian poetics, for repression of the people." ( Theatre of the Oppressed . Augusto Boal.) :: note :: . . . received this about Boal . . . (Dear Friends, Augusto Boal -- now 74 and in poor health -- has his pension "on hold" in Brazil. He needs emails sent IMMEDIATELY to the authorities in Brasilia so that they will act positively and give Augusto his pension. The pension has been held up for nine years (!). ...

"Doesn't it go away as time passes?" "AS: No. The images of seeing dead people and the physical and visual memories of the terrifying experience are a deeply imbedded neuro-chemical pattern that won't go away. It doesn't work to try to suppress the memories, or to numb one's self with alcohol or drugs, or to relieve symptoms with medications. Some Vietnam veterans still had PTSD twenty years after the war as strong as it was their first year back." "Is there no hope then?" "AS: Just the opposite. There is more than hope. The proven way to recover from PTSD is to talk and write about the experience over and over. The goal is not to make the memories go away, but to gain control over them and integrate them into your larger life story." "An extreme, traumatic experience divides your life into two parts. Life before and life after. Many people never overcome the experience and remain psychological casualties for the rest of ...

. . . this summer a seris of posts on The Experience Designer Network provoked thought around learning, education, credentialing . . . archived in various Themes they present wonderful personal reflections and broad experiential commentary . . . schooling is often extremely disheartening but the engagement with learners is ultimately immeasuralby enriching . . . to observe the transformative energy of dreams and imagination to release action and creativity can be humbling . . . i treasure this 'job' called 'teacher' returning each term to the state of 'beginning' . . .

. . . there has been mention of Jarry's Ubu Roi lately . . . in my first year university an inspired drama artist/teacher Raymond Clarke, who taught all the acting classes from first to fourth year, staged an unforgettable Ubu . . . it was a class exercise and the actors were placed in boxes . . . the exercise was to give character through box and voice . . . the result was a play full of ubuesque brilliance . . . many times i have sworn to reenact the event . . . years later my enthusiasm was considerably dampened by an equally forgettable attempt . . . a university production of bourgeois triviality . . . Raymond Clarke was one of those rare individuals . . . passionate, challenging and caring . . . his intelligence of feeling needs to be nurtured & sustained . . .

. . . back into full term . . . all classes fully underway . . . the room is hot . . .

. . . being away was good . . . back to the cycle of beginning . . .

"Locked-out CBC Radio workers in Vancouver will record a two-hour program from the picket line, and three FM radio stations have agreed to carry the broadcast." ( CBCunplugged.com )

Montalbetti, Ko claim top prizes at competition Jennifer Jacoby-Smith The StarPhoenix August 18, 2005 Musicians did Saskatchewan proud at the 2005 National Music Festival last weekend in Kamloops, B.C. Two Saskatoon natives took top prizes in their fields. Soprano Ileana Montalbetti, formerly of Saskatoon and currently living in Manitoba, received first place honours in the voice competition; and violinist Raymond Ko placed first in the strings competition. Montalbetti admitted her win came as a "big surprise." The 22-year-old graduated earlier this year from University of Manitoba's music program. She represented Manitoba at the national festival, but still comes back home to Saskatoon frequently. Montalbetti appeared in Saskatoon Opera's production of Die Fledermaus earlier this summer. She will also return Oct. 29 to participate in the opera company's gala. "I would love to make a living singing," said Montalbetti, "but I'll have to see if th...

". . . Montalbetti admitted her win came as a "big surprise." The 22-year-old graduated earlier this year from University of Manitoba's music program. She represented Manitoba at the national festival, but still comes back home to Saskatoon frequently. Montalbetti appeared in Saskatoon Opera's production of Die Fledermaus earlier this summer. She will also return Oct. 29 to participate in the opera company's gala. "I would love to make a living singing," said Montalbetti, "but I'll have to see if that's in the cards." In the fall she will be off to University of Toronto to take their opera diploma. . . " (subscription required|The StarPhoenix | Montalbetti, Ko claim top prizes at competition ) :: note :: . . . a bit of fatherly pride . . . well done and much deserved (from my perspective) . . . graduated this spring and now . . . nice to see a national award as she arrives in Toronto . . . best of luck . . .

"Culture and creativity are the latest 'buzzwords' in the debate on innovation strategies for the knowledge economy. But what is the cultural dimension of the knowledge economy? And what does this imply for the public domain? " (context weblog| creative capital: culture, innovation and the public domain ) :: note :: . . . the words whether buzz or not take on a life of their own . . . they don't have the same meaning to me . . . when in Europe often wondered if the green I spoke was the green others saw . . . now wonder if creativity is a word i can speak . . .

made a terrible mistake couldn't face reality doesn't tell the whole story nothing ever does songs are of time and distance the sadness is in you there is only the dance these things you treasure are shells you are someone else's collage watch my arms (early morning dispatch from Mary Wigman) :: note :: .. . . last night was cold . . . woke up often . . . transcribed this dispatch from the place beyond sleep . . .

:: note :: . . . these tracks are a block away . . . twice a night the rumblings may be felt or heard . . . a comforting concept that flight is just a boxcar leap away . . . ha . . .

"The abject, mimed through sound and meaning, is repeated. Getting rid of it is out of the question - the final Platonic lesson has been understood, one does not get rid of the impure; one can, however, bringing it into being a second time, and differently from the original impurity. It is a repetition through rhythm and song, therefore through what is not yet, or no longer is "meaning," but arranges, defers, differntiates and organizes, harmonizes pathos, bile, warmth, and enthusiasm." (Kristeva. Powers of Horror . 28)

"Sad to say, I suppose it's possible that the sheer penetrating vigour of the work in Within and Beyond the Wall was also a factor in its having been so meticulously ignored by Toronto critics and media while it was available. For this was no ordinary exhibition, even as my observations and personal experience suggest that to be reflectively penetrating in Toronto seems often to be viewed, amid local insecurities, not as a contribution to the textural resilience and sophistication of the polis, but rather as an affront to the perceived need for relentless cheerleading, whether of the urban, corporate or national variety." (Lear's Shadow| Representing Berlin In the Context of Toronto by Douglas Ord ) :: note :: . . . need many more studies of "art work" like this . . . a blend of informed academic, critical with creative, imaginative . . . written as a wonderful personal reflection . . . thanks . . .

:: note :: . . . for the record: 11 jars of jam, 4 jars of jelly, 3 jars of sauce, 10 frozen berry packets (for pies) & 6 containers of fresh eating . . . a good season harvested from my mothers yard . . . much earlier this year due to the wet spring . . .

. . . son shares his dream of delivering my eulogy at St. Phillip's Church . . . just like you did for grandpa . . . "How does that make you feel?" . . . couldn't answer adequately . . . a while later a line from the past echoes: 'the sins of the fathers forgive the grandfathers' . . . lines may 1st 1966 (from the sorrowful canadians - wilfred watson ) the sins of the fathers forgive the grandfathers. MY BROTHERS AND I DECIDED ON A SUMMARY EXECUTION the sins of the fathers forgive the grandfathers. WE MADE EXCUSES FOR HIS AMIABLE FOLLIES, ESPECIALLY A VAIN WISH TO SPARE US SUFFERINGS, DEPREVATIONS, BOREDOMS WHICH HAD STUNG HIM TO THE TEETH the sins of the fathers forgive the grandfathers. OUR HEADS WERE NOT YET GREY, HIS HEAD WAS NOT YET WHITE the sins of the fathers forgive the grandfathers. BUT WE DECIDED IN THE HEAT OF MIDSUMMER OUR WRONGS HAD LASTED TOO LONG. the sins of the fathers forgive the grandfathers. WE ACCUSED OUR FATHER OF BEING PAR...

"The battleground, so to speak, is the interior world that ultimately resides in the soul." (The Experience Designer Network| Tension: Artists of the Living ) :: note :: . . . image titile: outside . . .

"But modern creativity theory argues that the creative process is as much an intellectual and social process as an emotional and individual process. As Dean Keith Simonton writes, 'creativity involves the participation of chance processes both in the origination of new ideas and in the social acceptance of these ideas by others... probabilistic or stochastic mechanisms operate at fundamental levels to generate original conceptions and to isolate the subset of these ideas that are judged adaptive by others -- and hence deserving of the designation 'creative'.' (2)" (artnet| The Matrix of Sensations by Donald Kuspit ) :: note :: . . . say what . . . title of the above image: Look . . .

An empty theater. On stage is dying A player according to his art's demands The dagger in his neck. His lust exhausted A final solo courting the applause. And not one hand. In a box, as empty As the theater, a forgotten robe The silk is whispering what the player screams. The silk turns red, the robe grows heavy From the player's blood that pours out while he dies In the chandelier's luster that blanches the scene The forgotten robe drinks empty the veins of The dying man who now resembles no one but himself Neither lust nor terror of transfiguration left His blood a colored stain of no return (Heiner Müller trans. Carl Weber)

:: note :: . . . a couple of years back with the grade 11/12 class examining different types of theater . . . Grotowski's Akropolis & Lepage's Seven Streams of the River Ota . . . discovered they knew little about Hiroshima . . . spent a fascinating week fielding unanswerable questions . . . didn't know which was more frightening their lack of knowledge or disbelief of what they were learning . . . we need to inform . . . all of us at any time . . .

"If art is a way of knowing by doing then clearly arts-based research must follow this tenet of allowing for "knowing" to emerge out of the creative process and finding adequate ways to document this process." (The Journal of Pedagogy Pluralism & Practice Issue 9: Fall 2004| Artists, Arts Educators, and Arts Therapists as Researchers byPhillip Speiser) :: note :: . . . documenting process with a sharp, critical yet understanding eye is remarkably difficult . . .

. . . caught (poster on wall photoshopped) . . .

. . . nothing like the blue sky of august . . . flipped me out . . .

. . . started with the body's recollection of being (david michael levin) . . . the "Problem" of the Body The Problem of the Contemporary Body "The absent body" The "Ecstatic" Surface Body The "Recessive" Visceral Body The "Aesthetic" "Inner" Bodymind The Aesthetic "Outer" Body "Chiasmatic Body" (Theatre Journal 56.4 (2004) | Toward a Phenomenological Model of the Actor's Embodied Modes of Experience by Phillip B. Zarrilli |access Project Muse)

. . . he'd been doing the stretch for over 25 years . . . well before the tensegrity magic passes of casteneda or grotowski's motions or the yoga class sun salutation . . . just a simple centering stretch . . . ruben, the slight argentinian with handlebar moustache and mischievous eyes taught him among many important lessons the stretch . . . died of aids a decade later in vienna . . . yet not his face that at times materialized in the doorway during intense work sessions and it was that face . . . the face he called godot which appeared at the window by his bed . . . lips imperceptively mouthing an unknown language . . . . . . wait and watch . . . it'll dissolve into a fog of nothing . . . always does . . . not this time, coalesced into the eye of a hawk or some bird of prey . . . a cloud passed over blocking the sun darkening the room an eclipse of the . . . paolo was dead . . . partner, shadow, double, mentor whatever was . . . that's why the police had been there ...

. . . close eyes . . . afterimage of the multi-coloured kite hanging like a calder mobile over the bed fades . . . where . . . . . . she was in berlin . . . back from istanbul and the bus ride of hell . . . accosted at the cheap hostel and street pursued constantly she wondered if it had been worth . . . where is he? . . . there was the amazing church . . . locked gate, under construction yet somehow they received permission to perform . . . expectedly enough she had fought with p . . . shouldn't have . . . knows nothing of the work . . . wants to direct of course . . . everyone does . . . said he was "helping" . . . feel sorry for him . . . not his fault . . . wants to be capable and thinks he is . . . hopeless and helpless . . . a grey smog hangs around the buildings . . . choke near vomiting . .. soulless and crying black tears . . . . . . still no answer . . . she caressed the burnished glass nerve beads following them down to the silver metal tassels and was sur...

. . . the dream . . . cold, minus forty prairie night . . . brilliant clear sky, stars dazzling the driifting, deep snow . . . on an endless highway, maybe the yellowhead, driving a white suburu sports car . . . Imprenza . . . not really white . . . a horrible mint green the sales rep called 'new' white . . . speeding free and easy . . . northern lights dance above like that black and white picture on the fridge my dad took in the fort churchill days . . . on the right a deer runs parallel with me . . . fast . . . snow isn't as deep as imagined . . . wow really fast . . . then see the wolf tracking right behind her . . . take eyes off the white line to watch wolf close in and leap teeth bared . . . ... I'm careening out of control . . . car hit a patch of black ice . . . off the road into a telephone pole . . . through the windshield flying . . . blood . . . Awake . . . jeez that's not even my dream . . . my son shared that dream while on a greyhound bus travellin...

. . . paranoia . . . at 3:30 am, in a deep sleep, am jolted awake by voices shouting "Hello" repeatedly . . . next moment at my bedroom door flashlights scan and blind me . . . two police ask who I am . . . "I live here." . . . "You live here?" the belligerent younger skinhead male, his blue shining form taking shape as I flick on the lights, asks incredulously . . . "Yes!" I shout back heart pounding barely realizing I'm out of bed, confused and . . . "Can we see some identification?" . . . stumble around, find my wallet and hand over a drivers licence . . . why am I thinking I should find my passport . . . "Someone reported your door wide open and we came over to take a look." . . . the tone is still belligerent . . . maybe that's just normal hostile cop talk . . . . . . the little dick is feeding off my bewilderment with a tone of absolute authority . . . actually he seems scared . . ."Ah you see I just did t...

"Producing the sort of society which values music is more than critics can achieve. It goes to much deeper values built up over time and is particularly complex in a modern metropolis, which, of its nature, has several powerful forces which are somewhat antithetical to art. It also has the critical mass to enable diverse artistic activity to take place but, as we would all be aware, there are also many deadening effects. In the long term it is the art that is important, not the critics. Criticism is a good measure of social a democratic health but that doesn[base ']t automatically imply artistic health." (Critical Conversation II| Word without thoughts never to heaven go by Peter McCallum ) :: note :: . . . powerful forces that suck from the meaning of artwork/play turning it into a commodity . . . shoving to the periphery of survivial or manipulating the product for desire . . .

"State clearly that you do not consent to what the police are doing." (NYCLU | Know Your Rights: Stops And Searches On The MTA ) :: note :: . . . the stress of searches . . .

. . . deep blue sky strong warm easterly wind open all windows & doors blow out the end of something era? paradigm? everywhere, the signs of closure. . .

(from Tackling terror: five principles for a better future |openDemocracy) :: note :: . . . attacking personal demons . . .

"So, in the final ROM scheme, none of the steel will be left exposed. All of it will be disguised behind massive amounts of drywall or an anodized aluminum roof. There's too much to distract an audience looking upon an integrated truss system whereby 3,000 pieces of steel (each weighing about three tons) have been miraculously joined together. . . Not one piece stands in a perfect vertical line. Chaos and disorder have been bolted together." "For Toronto, backed by the intelligent engineering of Halsall Associates, Libeskind is delivering the Spirit House, a towering, gyrating central void that begins within a basement exhibition space and rises up several storeys from the main entrance court. Libeskind wants to control the way that we think, and, ultimately, how we behave. Thoughts -- whether they be exhilarating or sanitized -- are easier to contain within drywall. . ." "What's more, the strategy of wrap and hide -- the dishonesty of contemporary ...

"I would say what I do is [long pause] investigate human nature within a form which also provides a degree of entertainment as well. Or absorption as well. Entertainment in its broadest sense. But to write a novel is to set yourself on a journey of investigation of our condition, where we stand at this particular time in history. Or whatever particular time you want to set the novel." (The Morning News | Birnbaum v. Ian McEwan ) :: note :: . . . entertainment = absorption . . .

"Filmic kineticism attempts to bridge the dimensional divide between screen bodies and stage bodies. Consequently, in the work of a few directors, camera operators and editors they bridge the divide between the visual and somatic. In these cases a new spatial and sensual performance environment emerges. One that make intimate the act of choreography and dancing. In no way can this experience replace the live stage event, nor does it try to. Instead, another genre forms made of flesh and tape, of light and sweat. Physical theatre lends itself to such collaborations due to its extreme kinetic language and individual accessibility of performers. Each film bears the unique stamp of director, choreographer, designer and dancer. It is my attempt only to expose moments of collusion and empathy." ( Filmic Kineticism in the work of DV8 Physical Theatre, Carbone 14 and LaLaLa Human St ) :: note :: . . . need to work on this . . .

""My philosophy is that education is a cornerstone of democracy, that we must support education as much as we can in every way possible, and that we must also be able to give our children the best education possible to develop their talents (and) maximize their opportunities to become very successful in society," he said." "In far too many places, teachers find themselves under attack, where curricula are imposed and . . . instructional practices are challenged by politicians and ideological fundamentalists," he said. "We must always be ready to face these challenges to advocate for our professional interest and be persistent in demanding the preservation of a public education system for all." (TheStarPhoenix.com | CTF honours Sask. teacher Garritty ) :: note :: . . . a powerful colleague . . .

"Selina, her husband, and four children are among the 1.2 billion people in the world living on less than a dollar a day -- what the United Nations calls 'extreme poverty.'" (AlterNet|Living on $1 a Day )

"MY FAVORITE" WILLIAM GIBSON NOVELS ... Well, not that I've gone back and re-read them recently (or, really, ever) but I seem to be fonder of COUNT ZERO, from the first set, and IDORU from the second. COUNT ZERO because the ace cyberspace cowboy turns out to be, initially at least, a completely hapless teenage dork, and IDORU because I love the idea of a little girl from a Seattle suburb getting on the plane to Tokyo, having crazy adventures there, and coming back without anyone even having noticed." ( William Gibson Blog ) "My intention is to not leave people who come into this world in the dark. Obviously we can't give voice to everyone, but our culture demands that we speak only of things of obvious importance, or of those who leave the completed work of art. But often - I could say always - whether it's a painter, writer, sculptor or musician, there are others who leave traces within any given work. You bring up Michelangelo; there had to be an appr...

". . . for the foodstuff never undergoes a pressure greater than is precisely necessary to raise and carry it; in the gesture of chopsticks, further softened by their substance - wood or lacquer - there is something maternal, the same precisely measured care taken in moving a child: a force (in the operative sense of the word), no longer a pulsion; here we have a whole demeanor with regard to food; . . ." (--Roland Barthes, "Chopsticks" ) :: note :: . . . to take time to reflect . . . a gift . . . love using chopsticks . . .

fished forty hats from the cellar scattering them in the space at the temple hung fifteen pieces of fabric from pole to pole placed three baskets side by side against the wall tossed one pair of mukluks into a corner dangled a set of wings on the door frame recollecting is gathering all the loose ends and bits of memory to compress them between the seer and the seen a blinding stillness

"Urban Improv turns learning into play - play that can quickly shift from raucous humor to a sober exercise in making good choices. Serving about 6,000 students in grades 4 to 12 each year, workshops have been built around the potential pitfalls of adolescence - bullying, peer pressure, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, violence. Educators have long praised such role-playing methods as effective, but only recently has research started to back up their intuition. A study by the Trauma Center of the Massachusetts Mental Health Institute, currently under peer review, found that fourth-graders in Urban Improv workshops avoided the sharp increase in aggressive behavior exhibited by a control group over the course of the school year. Participants also showed more cooperation, self-control, and engagement in class." (csmonitor.com | Practice scenes for the tough choices of adolescence ) :: note :: . . . too many believe playing encourages activity . . . failure to understand the f...

last night on the corner of Ave. B & 25th a drunk sreamed "hit me again" removed his shirt pounded his open palm smashed a ghost to the pavement & stood defiant snarling like Ali a car speed by shattering the twilight the shirtless dark haired fighter rocked uneasily between the cracks of the world i couldn't watch anymore wondered if he would go to the corner where his shirt hung on the green picket fence the nights are hot and getting hotter the sun dries even the deepest recesses of the basement the river flows mightily after a relentless month of rain and run-off sand clogs the water treatment plant a water ration is ordered no showers allowed imagined being smashed to the floor while showering instead wipe myself down with a cold wash cloth in the morning the shirt is gone the dusty parked blue car a witness to the entire incident is still there the wild grasses grow tall between the fence planks an empty bus screams by it is midday the sky darkens how do w...

"That's why I don't really like to use the words avant-garde anymore. I don't really believe in them right now. They don't take in enough variety. Avant-gardes get middle-aged; they become the establishment. When one goes to the Brooklyn Academy of Music, for instance, one is likely to see the work of artists who belonged to the avant-gardes of the 1960's and 70's and early 80's. Some are perfecting what they've already done. A few keep on experimenting, while some are being better paid to calcify than they ever were to innovate." (NYTimes.com| The Avant-Garde, Rarely Love at First Sight ) :: note :: . . . excellent primer . . .

"Our culture no longer bothers to use words like appropriation or borrowing to describe those very activities. Today's audience isn't listening at all - it's participating. Indeed, audience is as antique a term as record, the one archaically passive, the other archaically physical. The record, not the remix, is the anomaly today. The remix is the very nature of the digital." (Wired 13.07 | God's Little Toys Confessions of a cut & paste artist. By William Gibson ) :: note :: . . . now must read the fictions . . .

". . . terms of boundary crossing, this means that civil discourse has not occurred if boundaries that define spaces of sound and spaces of silence have not been recognized and honored. Both sound and silence are crucial if the city is not simply to degenerate into a place of violence. Finally, and most emphatically, city speech does not avoid argument. In fact, the rhythm of crossing, recognizing, and honoring boundaries is descriptive of the discipline of argument. (Remember the formulation at the beginning of this essay: liberal arts are concerned with discovery, appreciation, orientation, and application[~]redefined here in terms of crossing, recognizing, and honoring boundaries.) Where there is no argument, there is no civil discourse, and there is no city. Such a place is likely to be defined in one of three ways: either it is surrounded by an essentially impermeable boundary that excludes difference; or it is marked by violent struggle for control of turf; or (most likely)...

"By now, the actors are so familiar with their own lines that they started listening to each other. It sounds crude, but that's essential." (arts.telegraph | My week: Peter Hall, theatre director ) :: note :: . . . crude theater advice . . . life lesson be familiar with your words & start listening to others . . .

"In other words, a more detached and deeper reading of what lies behind the information already in the public domain will enable us to develp a grotesque, a tragic or an ironic approach in areas where live communications will never reach. It is our duty, or, if you prefer, our professional task as writers, as directors and as theatre practitioners to devise a way of talking about reality that permits us, with the chemistry of imagination, with the cycnicism of reason and with irony, to smash standardised schemes. In the way, we can encounter the programme and the strategies which the powes-that-be bring forward, and that is to teach people never use their critical sense; brain dead, imagination zero. " (from Dario Fo . The Tricks of the Trade . 120) :: note :: . . . the next paragraph is more startling . . . wish it were on-line . . .

"The photograph defines the space between image and object, between imagination and reality, between now and then, between space and time, between truth and fiction, language and silence and indeed between life and death. This is indeterminable, abstract space, the space of metaphor. If we remember that when we see photographs we are seeing metaphors, we regard them far more critically than we would as if they remained 'images'. News, documentary, advertising and other photographs in the public domain become exposed as a metaphor for our collective memory, which raises concerns about the potential for a subtle epidemic of viral mnemonics. We would sooner believe a photograph than we would a coin. " (new dentist| The Matter of Life and Death |Part 1: Metaphors and Memory By Ashley Whamond ) :: note :: . . . image as metaphor . . . image as memory . . . the conflict between memory & metaphor . . . whenever attempting to record with a camera not only is the moment...

mystifying alien landscape renovated inscriptions abandoned massacres inert mourners with absurd delusions a secretive drift of transients with a shabby conscience compensated in a dogged survivalist creed be a problem

"I was interested in somebody who had lost his personal memory and was condemned to live within culture alone. It was consciously analyzing a risk that I run - and any person like me can run - to know the world only through quotations. I wanted to make a Gedankenexperiment: what could happen to a person who only lives through, by, within books he has read, without personal, tactile memories. And to show in which way, if it were so, you would be a person with half a soul. Because memory is soul - that's what I strongly believe." (cbc.ca | A&E | Vox Populi Umberto Eco's new book explores the merits of mass entertainment By Andre Mayer ) :: note :: . . . another soul work . . . building memory builds soul . . .

Dearest Stefan From your powerful entrance into this world and from the first moment you reached out to clutch my finger with a strength and intensity of purpose I knew it was to be my honour to follow your passages. Remember, at five, on the swing and you wanted to jump off. You pumped till it seemed you would create a full circle and you let go travelling so high that the landing knocked the wind out of you. I remember. I remember these past eighteen years & all that you taught me. Now I invite you to choose. Choose what you do - all your actions and intentions - with care and from the heart. For you must love what you do. When you love each and every moment then do it with passion. Do it with a lust to live and grow. Do it with a determination to fall again and again. Do it with soul and the deep searching thoughtfulness. Do it with the courage to fly. Do it with dreams, vision and imagination. Do it. What you taught me most of all and what  I most...