Dobong

 ... moved into a new place ... 

... first night there in a deep sleep was visited by a short middle aged man ... well dressed in a black suit ... seemed to be Korean but not sure ... although silent the figure's presence was so strong i was pulled out of dream to fully awake ... as I lay in bed the after image of him remained standing silently in the hallway just outside the open bedroom door ... he wasn't really looking at me but i felt he sensed i was now aware of his presence and didn't wish to startle me ... finally assured he was a dream figure i fell back to sleep ... only later to be visited again ...  this time not in dream but upon waking saw him standing fully in the doorway ...  a serious, calm face he looked directly into my eyes ... 

...  i knew he was an apparition  & examined his demeanour ... he was likewise examining me with a gentle questioning look ... oh a previous owner of the apartment i thought ... he didn't move or speak just stood still ...  i waited for a few minutes drifting back to sleep ... no mid-states either asleep or awake ...

... the third visitation was in dream as i saw him walk away past the kitchen disappearing ... held the experience for a few days before sharing with my partner Ae ... she said it was a ghost ... replied not really somehow ghost sounds too scary ... just an apparition to make sure we would be good caretakers of this place ...  a test ... seemed we passed ... he hasn't returned ... yet ...

... have had similar experiences when moving into new places ... not all but enough to recognize a pattern ... i take it as a vision inviting me to learn more about the place ... well here is considered to be pretty much as far north as you can go in Seoul and it is the eastern side of     Bukhansan National Park (북한산국림공원  checking facts and history seemed fruitless ... this visitor desired me to search more the imaginative place ... 

... for the first time i needed to display my Canadian objects here in Korea ... the Metis sash, the drum, the Alert Bay scarf gifted to me from my son, a couple of my mothers tea cups and saucers ... they mixed with the Korean mask, piri & Buddhist beads ... a new place asking me to honour my past ... i struggle ... my pattern has been to make a clean break ... ceaselessly to focus forward to shed the past ... always look forward never look back ... stop the hoarding & past plundering ... shed the skin like my sign the snake ...

... who was this apparition ... still reflecting ... seemed to have some religious or spiritual background ... he gave the impression of being kind yet stern & approached dare i say dogmatic ... a Confucian gentleman arriving at the wrong place ... pondered more ... had he come to share some critical instructions ... instructions from the afterlife ... when moving had always wished for a finality like a door slammed shut on my past ... not this time ... there were signs present ... what to do & who to be ... wanted to get close to this ghost ... yes my fear of the word had dissipated ... can you rearrange your soul ... no ... he looked at me as if to say "what now?" ...

... no one warned me death would look so innocent ... his gaze had circled my still changing body ... i struggle to no longer be haunted by the past ... to no longer look away ... rather gaze intently ...  this was not really a sudden new clarity of thought ... maybe more a sense of dread ... can't understand the difference between running toward or running away ... no longer able to be dangerously reckless nor dangerously calm towards distorted memory ... still overly sensitive to expectation, impatience & dissent ...

... creating ... stimulating individuals to access imagination ... move to awareness was the ifsphere of my life ... personal, anecdotal, allegorical, ancient ... relationships,  bonds, connections ... all more fleeting than lasting ...

::Note:: ... still self-mythologising... (my tho log rising) ... take a good honest look at yourself ... plant seeds of imagination in the wind ....