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if . . .

What you alter in the remembering has yet a reality, known or not. - Cormac McCarthy

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March 23, 2005

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Heart Play

June 24, 2002

My thoughts are wounds in my head. My brain is a scar. I want to be a machine. Arms to drag legs to walk no pain no thinking. (Heiner Müller , 'Hamletmachine' ) Heartplay A May I lay my heart at your feet. B If you don't make a mess on my floor.. A My heart is clean.. B We'll see, won't we.. A I can't get it out.. B Would you like me to help you.. A If you wouldn't mind.. B It'll be a pleasure. I can't get it out either.. A cries. B I will remove it surgically. What have I got this penknife for anyway. We'll have this sorted out in no time. work will keep you from despair. Right, there we are. But this is a brick. Your heart is a red brick.. A Yes, but it beats only for you.. (1981) A beats B to death with the brick.. (Addition, July 1991). ------------- Heiner Müller ----------------- from Heiner Müller Theatremachine translated and edited by Marc von Henning

car torched

April 25, 2005

. . . yesterday while visiting my mother for Sunday supper . . . my car parked at the rear of the house was torched . . . witnesses identified a five year old playing around the vehicle followed by three sharp explosions and high flames . . . the fire department responded in less than a minute thanks to a neighbour's 911 call . . . the gas meter directly behind the car melted and had to be replaced . . . the house was slightly singed . . . inside the smell of smoke hung around the night but all is well now . . . i was fixing the car up as a graduation gift for my son so the vehicle was unlicensed . . . no insurance but sure makes a dramatic picture & story . . . how 'bout this story (all factually true) - vehicle parked behind former Islamic Temple torched while recently arrived Korean guest out visiting campus . . .

Dobong

May 11, 2024

... moved into a new place ... ... first night there in a deep sleep was visited by a short middle aged man ... well dressed in a black suit ... seemed to be Korean but not sure ... although silent the figure's presence was so strong i was pulled out of dream to fully awake ... as I lay in bed the after image of him remained standing silently in the hallway just outside the open bedroom door ... he wasn't really looking at me but i felt he sensed i was now aware of his presence and didn't wish to startle me ... finally assured he was a dream figure i fell back to sleep ... only later to be visited again ... this time not in dream but upon waking saw him standing fully in the doorway ... a serious, calm face he looked directly into my eyes ... ... i knew he was an apparition & examined his demeanour ... he was likewise examining me with a gentle questioning look ... oh a previous owner of the apartment i thought ... he didn't move or speak ju...