Monday, September 06, 2010

how many times

… how many times does your father have to die in your dreams?

… a couple of days ago I awoke in heart beating terror from a night dream … had been the front seat passenger in a car driven by my father … we were in a foreign, futuristic metropolis navigating endless freeways … had stopped at an intersection ... car ahead turning left … we waited till an opening finally came and he turned but we did not move … the light turned red … annoyed and bored I stared out the side window at concrete and cars … the light changed and still we remained motionless … turned to see my father slumped dead face up on the steering wheel … the face last seen in the casket many years ago …

… I awoke …

… this was not the first time dreamt of his death after his death …

… once before years ago … was leaving an Italian restaurant of my early youth when saw my father crossing the street … impossible I thought he's passed away … but it was him ... chased after the figure … he crossed the street into an oncoming truck and was killed instantly …

… I awoke …

… have dreamt of him often in situations where he doesn't die … yet how many deaths does it take?

- See: Writings Personal

::note::... impelled to write by White Apples by Donald Hall ... first line:
when my father had been dead a week