Friday, February 28, 2003

Writings 1 - 22

1.
Belief.
I believe in the beginning and end for the middle is so difficult.
Too many twists and turns which inevitably result in anguish.
Gentleness does not equal a quiet freedom or choice.
Silence is unbearable.
Selfishness requests more and more.
If is the experiment. Experience inspires but does not overcome.

2.
Thought
Thinking that it would pass I took to the night as vision is more than sight.
To touch each moment with a fresh sensibility transforms the banal.
It takes practice, a calculated risk and trust.
Trust in the Other.
Don't look now but thoughts speak without resolution.
Talking to yourself. Dream shapes the unknown into the known

3.
Mystery.
Embrace intuition as an act of survival.
Informed intelligence is a multifaceted jewel demanding sharp diamond work.
Acts of the heart.
Emotions can pollute and arouse but they inform.
Courage to deny.
Follow the spirit towards the place you never knew. Memory researches the deepest interiors.

4.
Play.
One. Two. Three, Four.
A scene in context without relationship desires tension.
Make it physical.
Speak the speech.
Observe the law of opposites.
Struggle for clarity. Action requires contemplation of execution.

5.
Pain.
Tingling to the nerve relentless & chaotic.
Stop it. Ignore it.
It throbs for attention.
Mobilizes the resources & debilitates the being.
Cry out to the nothingness for help.
Be stoic. Healing creates images of the snake and dreams of Kundalini.

6.
Song.
The movement stirs rising to the surface trembling into the air.
Unknown rhythms speaking of unheard melodies.
The words matter.
You can hear them and every nuance behind them.
Meaning lost in a cacophony of noise.
Each part separate without destroying the line. Slow the breathing down to grounding.

7.
Poetry.
An engagement with history.
The spirit of friendship.
The openness to work.
The sensibility for nature.
The way of moving the line.
A kind of instruction to the self. Thought-images nourish the heart culture.

8.
Translation.
Language is a wild system.
A self-managing and self-organizing phenomenon.
Thoroughly accept exactly who we are and exactly what it is we must do.
No evasion, no hiding from any of it, physically or psychologically.
Find the ceremonial and sacramental quality of the moves of life.
Try to imagine kinaesthetically. Listen to the dance that vibrates around the edge of the space.

9.
Work.
Walk around in memory and imagination.
Territories which are never fully comprehended most engage.
Suspicion breeds a gnawing restlessness.
Run, run on the spot chanting empty slogans to empty rooms.
You presume no one hears.
Silent screams shred the body. Can the spirit survive.

10.
Love.
Possession is a deceptive craving,
Substance strives to balance the other.
Death, ego, eros all depart if the celestial heavens open and the choirs sing.
They are heard once upon a time in courtly fashion revealing a trace of splendour.
To drink from the golden chalice and elude the snake in the grass.
Simply fall into the temptation. May I?

11.
Doubt.
Feeling close seems like nothing more than a choice to create or destroy.
Distance is not about physical space.
Lies create anger that move to misunderstanding. Don't hide.
Barriers of silence trouble the soul.
Will existence into the the beauty of the lights moving fleetingly across the night sky.
The sun touches the night . Feel the moon.

12.
Action
The space between the lover and the beloved casts shadows like craters.
Have you every fallen into a crevice of despair.
Life hauls you out.
Nothing can replace the support to dynamic positions of power.
A point of entry into a journey from the source.
Full and daring. The unknowable and unexpected universe.

13.
Knowledge
Information, data, details, facts dissolve into truth and reality.
Laughing with raw scepticism brings no delight.
Searching for authenticity, validity, accuracy disintegrates into random walks.
Intelligence stops well short of the heart.
Inside, outside, within and without are paradoxical conundrums.
Tangible, actual, concrete stop me in my tracks. Please leave me alone.

14.
Destroy
Destruction seems too easy.
List the betrayals and the fire burns violently and the smoke smothers.
Blind with rage, bleeding to death, screaming helplessly.
The voice shatters.
Shuddering and trembling forgiveness is futile.
Hope is a lost wish. I can't stop the . . .

15.
Pleasure
Regained and addictive pleasure seems futile.
Lost and distant pleasure is a goal.
A moment in time a space hold on tight before it's gone.
It will leave and emptiness.
Desire wanting desire.
More often the night brings solace. Patience seeks mythical traces of us all.

16.
Story
Following events as they happened to make sense.
Slowly repeating over and over into clarity.
Ambiguity folds delicately around a simple, clear centre.
Varied, subtle nuances bring rich layers.
Who can understand?
Does communication matter? Memory dissolves into traces of lost meaning.

17.
Narration
Heaven & hell exist side by side uncompromisingly absolute.
Tell the sequence of ascent & descent without missing a beat.
It develops its own logic once lived.
Twice lived and who knows when to stop?
Transitions hold a key to full involvement.
But afterall it's just a scene. Hunker down to reflect.

18.
Original
Struggle through many random chance meetings and discover them all again.
Prepare with energy and enthusiasm listening to impulse and intuition.
Creative invitations towards sharing.
A holiday of magnificent splendour.
Yes it is not bigger or projection. Involvement takes us to the deepest place.

19.
Recreation
Watch out and do it!
The stuff of bread & roses.
Drink too much to numb the pain.
Gnaw at the edges and don't get trapped.
Chewing wears the surface down and dead skin peels into blood. Clench hard repressing the anger.

20.
Hate
Huge emptiness to hang the head in humble recognition.
I have failed again.
Nothing indicates only the change begins awareness.
Sorrow & bitterness.
Calling out into the empty room.
Not even an echo. Goodbye mouthing into silence.

21.
Fighting
To fight is . . . what . . .
Winning is no result.
Conflict disheartens.
All is wasted.
Fear.
. . . . . Touch loss.